..::one word: special::..

OMG I have never spent so long thinking up a meaningful title for my blog. To be honest, this one took me like 23 mins and 48 seconds to think of. I guess you get this sorta trouble when you write about someone amazing like OKM. You may remember in my first post, I mentioned briefly about this wonderful friend of mine. I want to take this opportunity to talk more about OKM and the special part he plays in my life. OKM is my newest friend yet I feel he is too one of my closest. Its really dumb you may think as to how someone may be close to you when you've only known them for like a month, but with OKM, honestly I really feel this. Since meeting him a few weeks ago, I have tried to chat with him as much as possible. Why? Because he always bring a smile to my face every time I come home tired and agro from uni. He is the first person I see and speak to every time I come online after school. I really appreciate OKM's company. Though we both know he has so much homework and studying to do, OKM always listens to what I have to say and when you find someone who's willing to listen to you, it makes you feel really great inside. Though this is the case, I do try not to bother OKM a lot. OKM is studying his final year in high school and I'm aware that its very vital that he has as much concentration on his schooling as he can get. OKM let me apologize to you now for if I ever have been a distraction to your studying. I'm sincerely sorry. I really do hope OKM does fantastic for his final year. Hes a talented and smart individual. OKM is so special. He is so sweet, cute, hot and best thing is that he lives not far from me. I can't wait for when I will visit Sydney coz for sure I'd love to hang out with OKM sometime and vice verse. I remember for my birthday, OKM posted a blog with a picture of himself holding a sign saying 'Happy 21st Daniel'. When I first saw that, I literally nearly burst into tears. I felt really special, especially since this was coming from a friend who I've only just met. OKM didn't need to do that, but I guess it all came from the thoughts he had. I adore OKM so much for everything hes done for me and I promise that this will never be forgotten. I will keep all this and him close within my heart, and I will take every chance I have to make it up to him. Since meeting OKM, seeing him everyday just makes me happier and happier, and from just being a spark of light in my tunnel of depression, he is now the bobcat that is paving my road in seek of the happiness and beautiful things in life. As always, it is hard to talk enough about a special person like OKM. No bible is big enough for me to write on about him. But at the end of the day, even if I have written a whole encyclopedia set about OKM, it still wouldn't beat the thoughts I have of and for him. I think OKM clearly knows what I think of him, but if he doesn't, not to worry OKM, I will tell you of my thoughts one of those days. Just remember OKM, you will always be someone special to me and one of my greatest BFFs. Love you heaps buddy, now, and always. OKM's favourite quote: "When I'm feeling like there's no love coming to me, and I have no love to give, When I'm feeling separated from the world, and cut off from myself, and annoyed by every little thing, because I'm not getting what I want, I'll remember that there's an infinite amount of love available to me. And I'll see it in you. And I'll remember that I'm complete within myself, and most of all, I'll remember that everything I really need I already have. And whatever I don't have will come to me when I'm ready to receive it." - Will and Grace

..::wei yi::..

I have always heard of the term 'love at first sight', but have never really experienced it for myself before until I met this very special person. His name will be referred to as HDSN and it was during the month of August 2008, when I first met him. I met him on DL and I really admired him because he was my first ever friend on there. After a few emails, we exchanged our msn details. At first I wasn't very sure as how I'd expect HDSN to be like when I chatted with him on msn, but after exchanging a few words, there was this little feeling from deep down that told me, this has to be the person I've been looking for. I was very confused at what this feeling was at first and that it couldn't be wat I was thinking. That night, I dreamt of him, and it was at this point when I knew and accepted that I love him. They say that whatever or whoever you keep thinking of in the morning, you will dream of them in the night - I totally agree. I was overwhelmed that I have found my needle in the haystack. I couldn't stop thinking of him and everyday, I would be waiting to see him online. My last failed relationship was with an awesome person from the US, but that didn't once deter me from being in long distance relationships again. Though I had uni at the same time, every night I would stay up till 3-4am to see him. Though tiring, it was all worth the wait. Just seeing him online makes my day complete. The love I have for HDSN is immeasurable. I always tell Kvalentine about HDSN to the point where I think he's had enough lol. Kvalentine is just great. I must admit, my relationship with HDSN isn't perfect, there are times where our relationship were down. But we still put everything behind and continue to still be BFFs. Our relationship gets stronger by each day and my love for him also strengthens. HDSN to me, is someone whom I can swim the greatest oceans, climb the highest mountain and walk the longest road for. There is nothing in this world I would hesitate to do for him - nothing. He means the world to me and more. I really enjoy the time I spend with HDSN even though it isn't as long as I would have wished, but even if it was just one minute, I already feel satisfied. I really don't know how I can describe my feelings for HDSN, as I too am confused myself. But if i can use one word, I think it would be 'FOREVER'. Love is a two way thing, and although so far the love between HDSN and I are only halfway complete, I am keeping faith that one day soon the circle will close. I know as each day passes, I am getting closer to the answer I have been longing for. HDSN knows all too well how I feel about him, but I also hope that he too knows that I can and I will love him more than any other man on this earth. That I can be the one who will give him the love just like the sun coming out of the clouds and warming his soul.


This was a poem I wrote for HDSN a while back during Christmas. I usually leave my blog with a quote, but for this special post, I decided to finish off with a poem I wrote for my very special love. This is just a segment. It goes a little something like this:

No one else in all the world
Could ever even start
To fill the special place you do
So deep within my heart
I hope that you will somehow know
What words can never say
That you mean even more to me
With every passing day...
I LOVE YOU HDSN

..::no one else comes close::..

So far I have written some of my posts on the important people in my life aka the people whom I feel are my BFFs. I have written about OKM, RDG, Kvalentine and today, this post will be attentioned to GBRL, a very special person I met from China. There is one word I always use to describe GBRL - humble. I have told many people about GBRL, including Kvalentine as to how humble he is. GBRL, although has very limited english, I really enjoy chatting to this person, first time, everytime. I enjoy chatting with GBRL about our school life and especially enjoy helping him improve his english. GBRL is such a hardworker and I always see him strive to better his english speaking and writing skills. Though I do always help him with this, it is really due to his persistance and perseverance that has gotten him to really improving his english. It is these qualities in him that makes me admire him so much. When he is not at school doing work, he'll be in the library studying. Oh GBRL, how I wish I can be half as hardworking as you are. I can see that GBRL has a very bright future waiting ahead for him, and I feel really happy for him. Gosh GBRL, you are a man of simplicity but why is it not simple for me to write about you? I really can't wait for the day I meet GBRL in person. I think it will be very awesome and seriously as I am writing this, I'm getting this little Dan figure inside me jumping up and down in excitement. This thing about him and I meeting is guaranteed as China is one place I've always dreamt of travelling to. I look forward to seeing GBRL online everynight as I do with Kvalentine and OKM etc. I don't think I'll write about how I feel for GBRL, as he clearly knows now my feelings hehehe. But GBRL everything I told you the other are all true and are from the bottom of my heart. Anywayz with your limited vocabulary GBRL, I think this blog is already enough for you to digest. I hope you don't get a headache sweetie. I'll be looking forward for your appearance on msn soon. Love Lots : ]

Quote of persistence: 'Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration' - Thomas Alva Edison

..::thankyou::..

Today's blog will be very short. Today I turn 21. A milestone in my life. Instead of writing about my birthday, I want to leave my readers with two quotes I received today. These two quotes given to me by my cousin, are by far the best gift I have ever been given on any birthday. It goes a little something like this...

Decisions are only the beginning of something.
When someone makes a decision, he is in fact,
Plunging into a powerful current
That carries him to a place
He had never even dreamed of
When he made that initial decision.

- The Alchemist -



As soon as people decide to confront a problem,
They realize that they are far more capable
Than they thought they were.

- The Zahir -

..::there is only one you::..

This special blog post I want to dedicate to a very very special person in my life. I already am having so much trouble as where to start and what to say about this person as there are so many great things about this person. I will refer to this bff as Kvalentine. It was in mid September when we first met online, and I must say I am very grateful to have met Kvalentine. It didn't take long for us to click as we were both very appreciative of the new friend we found. Kvalentine is so special to me in everyway. We go out of our way to just be able to exchange a few words each night. Kvalentine would juggle his work load to chat with me and I am so appreciative of him and for what he's done. Another day and it'll be about exactly half a year ago that we've met, and I've always told Kvalentine, though we've only known each other for a few months, it seems as though we've known each other since forever. The love and friendship I recieve from Kvalentine is immeasurable, and I too have this person kept in a special place in my heart. Throughout our time together, we've shared many memorable moments that no doubt will ever be erased from my life. The laughter, smiles, jokes, stories, and tears are just some of the factors we face which also have kept us both tight together. Being able to meet Kvalentine and be his friend, I must admit is prolly one of the greatest gifts given to me from above. Not only is Kvalentine a friend, but to me he too possess the figures of an older brother, a mentor, a comedian. Kvalentine is so supportive of everything I do, and it's this support that gives me the faith to carry on. Kvalentine speaks his mind and will honestly tell me if something was wrong about me or the people around me. I really do take his word into account as I really look up to him. Kvalentine is older than me and has been through it all, if not, more than I have, and so I feel very lucky to have someone like Kvalentine to guide me along my journey of life. I think of Kvalentine all the time. Whether it'd be at uni, home, shopping, shower, or even sleeping, the force of his friendship will always revolve around me and my life. I really do think Kvalentines' partners are the luckiest people on earth. To have someone so great like Kvalentine as a partner, I really do pray they never do anything bad against him and/or make him feel less happy. I, as a friend, cannot ask for more. Just getting to know Kvalentine is already so great and there is nothing in this world that can replace him. There is nothing in this world I would swap Kvalentine for. If there is a major thing I regret about Kvalentine, is that I regret not knowing him earlier. Kvalentine, where have you been the last 19 years of my life? I can never write enough about this amazing person. But for the sake of this blog post, I need to limit my words. At the end of the day, Kvalentine, you know and understand how I think of you and although I cannot put it all down in writing, please know that my thoughts of you are what counts the most. Love you lots buddy...xoxoxox



Quote of friendship: 'Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom' - Marcel Proust

..::may there still be light for our friendship::..

Apart from starting uni at 12pm and leaving early at 3pm, I want to focus today's blog on a special person in my life. Respecting his privacy, I will label him as RDG. Last night as I was sleeping, I had a very random but short dream. All I can remember was that I was text messaging RDG with something important I wanted to tell him - I can't remember what this thing was. When I woke up I decided to follow my dream and text message RDG. It's been quite a long time since I last texted him - over half a year nows. So many things has happened between us which makes it abit hard for us to face each other, but RDG is one person who I regard as one of my bff and although nomatter what happens between us, I've put it all behind me, and I'll never think of him differently. To me, I see it as 'one day a friend, will always be a friend'. I guess I dreamt of RDG because when we were still close friends, it was him who I'd turn to and share everything with. I recieved a reply text from him asking 'who is this?', but I never responded as I know he will not be happy... Although he's far away in Toronto, I will always remember all of our happy times together online; whether it'd be chatting, conferencing etc. I really looked up to RDG, and many times I felt he was like the older brother who I never had but always wanted. From time to time I still drop by his DL profile to see how he's been, and also read his blog. He doesn't know this and I think it's good he doesn't because I don't think he'll be happy. All I want is for him to be happy, even if I'm not apart of it. RDG is so special to me because he was the person who was there all the way with me during my cancer ordeal, he was the person who brought my ex and I together. He was like my guardian angel as I always felt safe and assured when I am around him. I always pray for it to be the day that we once again were like before - best of friends. I really do miss his company; his laughter, his stories, his voice...I have always had this person embedded in my memory, engraved in my heart. Seriously, there is no book or anything long enough for me to write about RDG on, Above is just a small fraction about RDG and the wonderful person he is. May God hear my prayers, and do RDG and I some justice.

Quote of friendship: 'Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born' - Anais Nin

..::new school year, new me, new promises::..

After 4 months of happy, sad, depressing holidays, today I started my 4th year Architecture course. Though it was my first day today, I decided to rock up late as I know how unorganized the polytechnic always is on a day like this. For me, stepping into the uni today, I felt was like a big achievement, as for over the years, I have many times was so close to quitting this course. But here I am today, one of the remaining 5 students out of the 48 that started this course with me, and also the youngest student of the year level by 5 years.
There are many new faces I saw today as the new bunch of 1st year students take their seat, ready to make a commitment to their futures. There too were many old faces which was surprising as I didn't expect this many students to continue. Today I felt very loved and at the centre of attraction. I told OKM this before, I have never had so many compliments in one day in my entire life. I had compliments about my look in every aspect; from my hair to my shoes, skin to physique. This pretty much made my day especially when I was called 'sexy' by the numerous people in my lecture room. I have never had the term 'sexy' been used on me before except from my ex partner. Seriously I think this will help me gain more confidence and self-esteem within myself.
Although it's only the first day at uni, I already have two assignments on my shoulders. I promised myself this year that I will put 110% into my studies. I know this is a regular promise I make and break each year, but now that I'm 21, actually turning 21 in a few days, I think it's time to take my life seriously, grow up and be more mature and work hard towards my future. This commitment will seem hard for me as my course is so intense, but i know it'll all pay off. Apart from schooling, with my life outside the polytechnic, I'm hoping to find a new partner; someone who I can commit to with all my heart and love for eternity, but I guess that's out of my control. It'll come when it comes. Goodluck to me this year; both educationally and socially.

Quote of knowledge: 'It is impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows' - Epictetus

..::here i go::..

I have never done any of this blogging before and never thought I would need to. So many things has happened in my life recently - too much for words to explain. Lately I have met a special person whom came into my life just as when I was falling deeper into this bottomless pit, and this person have been a magic carpet for me to fly my way out. As I thought that there was no light at the end of my tunnel, suddenly a spark lights up my world again. I have been feeling much more myself lately and thanks to this person I am getting back on track with my life.
OKM, though you are younger than me, your contributions to the way I feel now has been miraculous. I've told you this before and will say it again. I can never thank you enough for the precious time you've spent online with me. Your company has been an enjoyable one every time I see you. Though you may feel that you've done nothing for me but deep down I know that I would not the person I am today without you. Before I got to meet you, your blog already was making me feel so much better, and now that I've got the pleasure of meeting it's author, everything has been starting to go uphills. My love, my friendship, my trust, my shoulders will always be there for you OKM no doubt.

This blog is the result of the inspiration and recommendation from OKM to me. After reading OKM's blog as a daily habit, I realise if I too can put the daily life of my soul and mind into words and use this place as pen and paper, the burden of all the harsh things in life would feel much less on my shoulders. I know that being able to get everything off my chest will make me feel more lighter, more free.
Quote of faith: 'It's faith in something and enthusiasm for something that makes a life worth living' - Oliver Wendell Holmes